it's friday

friday finally

it’s Friday ….yay

I am a little under the weather today, I think I have a summer cold but I am so happy it is Friday what a wonderful thing to wake up too in the morning…..FRIDAY. LOL


wednesday mr. shnookums had his 9 month check up and he did wonderful! he is such a good baby and does so well for doctor C’Man, I am so proud of him. he now weighs 20 lbs even and is 28 and ¼ inches long and he is super healthy! he has learned a few things…he can clap on command, although I catch him clapping the side of his head and face sometimes….lol….his two bottom teeth have poked through the gums and he has two top teeth that haven’t poked through yet, but you can see that it will be any day now that they will be coming through as well. I swear it is THAT time again, I need to go buy the little one some more clothes….he is alrrady growing out of the summer clothes I got him a month or so back….they really do grow way too fast……I can’t believe he is already 9 months and 10 months isn’t too far around the corner….
I think this weekend we will just stay at home….we normally go see papa and grammy in “L”burg– but they have something they have to do on Saturday anyway.
me and shnookums are invited to michael p’s house for a little get together with some old old friends on Saturday, people I haven’t seen since I was the skinny – dancing- YOUNGER (lol) hip hop amy…..wow that seems like eons ago….it will be kind of cool to see some old faces…..


speaking of dancing, So You Think You Can Dance was on Wednesday night, OMG the talent on there is AMAZING….watching these kids dance is so awesome I get such a HIGH from just watching them and the choreography is out of this world….I am so happy they brought wade robson on as a regular choreographer, his style is bananas – I love him! mia micheals is my fav when it comes to contemporary dance – she too is a GENIUS…and let us not forget Shane Sparks he is fantastically fabulous when it comes to the street hip hop dances and next week they are having debbie allen!!! I can’t wait….I am so excited….I grew up watching FAME….I used to run and leap in the backyard singing….’Fame! I’m gonna love you forvever! Baby remember my name! Fame!’ do you remember debbie allen and her cane and she would bang it on the floor to get the dancers to stay on beat…..wow….so cool.
last night So You Think You Can Dance voted off faina and jimmy….so sad….I hate to see them cry....I so know how they feel….this year all the dancers are SO GOOD I don’t know how anyone could pick. my favorites at this moment are jessi, lacy, sabre and lauren, and for the guys I love kameron, pasha, dominic and of course hok. I really have to get back into dancing and get to losing some weight! :o)


any HOO….Sunday Bishop Drew Rouse is at our church and I can’t wait to hear what he has to say – he is fantastic, I love how he gets so excited when he is speaking…..he has already touched me with his words, prayers and blessings and I can not wait to see what is in store this time around. he will be here for Sunday morning service and then Monday and Tuesday evenings! I encourage any and everyone to come out and hear him!


Work has been really busy…..I think I have typed ‘efforts continue to complete objectives’ a thousand times in the past two days….whew…..


Hope everyone has a BLESSED and FABULOUS weekend! I will write more next week…..


Peace Forward…..Peace OUT……\/ two fingers!

pee n poop

pee n poop

(what a fantastical title)

fyi – very graphic material today….be forewarned….. LOL

now here is an interesting subject, at least for those of us who have babies or children in general….have you ever noticed HOW much you actually talk about PEE n POOP, among other bodily functions when you have babies? and yes I just said PEE and POOP in capital letters, there just isn’t any sweeter way to put it quite frankly….lol….plus I don’t think you get that ‘special’ affect if you don’t capitalize those words….now where am I getting this from….well I notice today, I myself, talk about it rather casually and quite a bit to anyone who will listen (funny I seem to find it quite amusing) and I have heard other mommies (normally) talk about it just as much....at work, church, stores – you name it. now I have a little boy and I am thinking they are probably just a wee bit trickier than little girls when it comes to changing diapers (although I have heard a few good wopping PEE n POOP stories about little girls too...ummmm hummmm....yes I have)….let’s face it peoples, it takes talent to NOT get pee’d on. little boys, as soon as the air hits, you are most likely in TROUBLE and depending on which way he is ‘angled’ depends on HOW much trouble you are basically in….if you know what I mean….wink wink….it definitely takes some practice to become a pro at whipping one diaper off and getting the other one on at the VERY same time and some how using the wipes as well…..so far I think I am getting pretty darn good…although grammy doesn’t always seem to be so lucky, poor grammy gets PEE’d on a lot….but trust me I have been pee’d on more times than I can count….not to mention shnookums has pee’d on himself too….he has pee’d in his ear (now that is really talented if you ask me), his face, his eye – he has pee’d UP and it never even came back down….to this day, I don’t know WHERE it went….and then this little man has the nerve to look at MOMMY like she did it, like it was HER fault….why that little rascal…..lol…..and OF COURSE let us not forget that big four letter word….POOP….when you think he is all done PEE n’ and POOP n’ – you are confident and you have the diaper off and you are reaching for the clean one – and he POOPS…..again….wide open….nothing to CAPTURE it…..yep….tell me this hasn’t happened to you….and I will applaud you, because you actually are more talented than I….although after that happened to me once….okay MAYBE twice…it has not happened again….(raised quirky eyebrow)
and what really sucks is when you go to grab the wipes (you know the container that lets you pull one out at a time – or two, mine always get stuck) and it is EMPTY!!! Eeeeeegad! Now that TOTALLY sucks…..specially at POOPY time….(scary face) and don't get me started about the COLORS of POOPY....yea, you know the BLACK TAR (I don't know about you, but man that stuff scared the bejezuz out of me - eeeek) then there is the yellow mustardy POOPY (with or without seeds thank you), the carmel peanut butter type POOPY and then you move on to the regular BROWN HORRIBLY STINKY SMELLY POOPY.....yea..... don't get me started about THAT.....whew.

I have to say before I close….my favorite PEE ing episode would be when shnookums sat in his little tub while getting a bath and the PEE went straight UP and OVER him like a rainbow….not a drop hit him or his little bathtub….now my OPEN shampoo bottle was another story….but what can I say – he has GREAT aim! I am thinking I might just have a little b-ball player on my hands….and YES….I got that IDEA from PEE n’…..

so as you can see talking about PEE and POOP comes so easily now that I am a mommy….I used to think that kind of talk was GROSS (probably like those of you reading this that might not have any kids yet….lol)….but now it is just EVERYDAY LIFE…..I change diapers like I change my clothes, I talk about PEE and POOP like I am talking about the Lakers, shoes, weather, shopping etc….and if you don’t care, I will probably continue talking about it....until shnookums is potty trained….and then that will just be a whole NEW subject on that subject…..LOL…so stay tuned….. ;o) ;o)

Peace Forward ~ Be Blessed!

my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

(if you haven't read the father's day blog - you might want to read that first)

Anonymous said...

Kudos!Poetic tribute to your father who took this responsibility.

But, then came the bitch slap to the punk who acts like a irresponsible teenager trying to avoid what is perceived to be his duty. (Deserved, yes - but not in this blog)

Question: Isn't birth prevention available to both male and female? So who are you really angry at? Choice or Outcome? If two people choose to establish a congecial interlude and one chooses not to stay engaged, then why such vitriol for an immature punk who can't take care of himself, let alone another baby? Your anger will only show through to your child, and why waste the energy? So, the definition of a father is not sperm donor or fails to provide the basics or calls periodically.....in fact if this becomes a question, probably not the person the child needs in his/her life anyway. A Father is: One who demonstrates: personal accountability,high values,self-respect and respect for others,wants you to be perfect but loves you with your flaws,figures out how to occupy your mind with positive experiences so you don't venture into the wrong path, consoles you in bad times but doesn't let you stay there long, hugs you when you least expect and again when you really need it, holds your friends to the same standards he holds you, never puts you in harm no matter how hard you try to find it, doesn't give you everything but makes you want for nothing, takes your hand away from temptation but eventually knows you will pull it away on your own, gives you opportunties to experience as much as possible but never makes resources ( money) the reason unable to do it( love, long walks and conversation are free), hides nothing about himself so you see he's not perfect but compared to most he is as close to perfect that you know, finally makes you realize he really is less than one in a billion! That is 1 out 8.

June 14, 2007 5:48 PM


my response to anonymous is this....since I don't know who you are, I can't really respond to just you- so since your comments are very valid I will comment on my blog....and I appreciate your input.....

as for what I wrote in my blog and your comment about it wasn't deserving ON my blog - I disagree - this is MY blog that I created to post MY feelings, experiences, thoughts, opinions etc....so I write what I am feeling AT THE TIME. as for the "bitch slap" as you called it - that was for all the fathers out there that don't do what they should....I have my own issues obviously with "fathering your child" but my blog yesterday was also in general as well as personal. I was also writing based on a few friends of mine that are dealing with "flighty" fathers as well - which is really what brought me to write the blog in the first place....like I said....surrrrrrreee I have issues with my child's father- but can you blame me? I am a mother and I CARE about my child's well being. I did not write that blog in anger as you seemed to have thought I did....but I am guessing whoever you are....you probably don't know me very well....I wrote that blog with extremely cozy feelings of my own dad and then wrote the other 1/2 with the side of my heart that HURTS for MY child and for other children out there whose fathers won't stand up....but not at all in anger - and just an FYI....I would never bring anger to my child nor would I ever bad mouth his father to him....he can make up his own mind about his father when that time comes....and I just pray that by then his father has stepped up and then some.

as for wasted energy....we all waste our energy on mute points sometimes....my writing is an outlet of all kinds of emotions and I don't think it is a waste of time or energy at all....I write what I feel when I feel it....and then let it go....and move on....it happens to be quite therapeutic.

even in serious situations like this last blog 'father's day' - I still find a way to throw some HUMOR into it, i.e. how father's who don't stand up should be punished....60% serious and 40% humor on that one....lol

and YES YES YES....it takes TWO to make a child, and YES they have birth control for both sexes, and YES it was BOTH our faults.....I have NEVER EVER denied that I wasn't TOTALLY at fault here as well....WE never discussed our intentions of what we would do if I became pregnant, unfortunately - THAT discussion came after it was TOO LATE (abortion was not an option for me)....but I am taking care of my responsibilities and would hope that the child's other half would do the same...mistake or not....wanted or not.....the child was conceived out of poor judgement and lack of oxygen to the brain (I might add)....and he is HERE...on planet earth....alive and kick n....and HE did nothing wrong....he didn't ask to be born OR conceived for that matter....so he doesn't deserved to be shunned or punished for mommy and daddy's fumble or major blunder (that def sounds more drastic)....and that was my entire point to that certain blog.really.and I do agree if the individual known as the father can not show a certain maturity and good role modeling - then NO it probably is NOT wise for the 'father' to be a part of the child's life....

and please KNOW this....I am not angry at my choice or my outcome...this little beautiful blessing of a little boy is my WORLD and I would do ANYTHING in my power for him! and if I had it to do over again....I would have him ALL OVER AGAIN!I will make sure he is HAPPY and at PEACE in life the BEST I can....and I will ALWAYS make sure he knows that he is LOVED and LOVED and LOVED some more.....

and that is my response to the above comment and a few of the other ones.... (smile)

but I do have one LAST question for whoever would like to answer or comment...

just curious....how can a "father" celebrate father's day with SOME if his children and not ALL of them.....behaving like certain ones do exist and others do not....how can that man be CELEBRATED as a FATHER when he isn't being a COMPLETE father to ALL his children that he is accountable for.......

okay....

Be Blessed this weekend - Peace Forward ~ Peace Out \/ two fingers.....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

(ps. i promise next week we will be back to HAPPY blogging....lol)

father's day

father's day

this is a long one so please brace yourself and please read the entirety of this heartfelt blog today….

I know Father’s Day is a good couple days away but it has been heavily on my mind lately….I mean how could it not be, advertisements 24.7 everywhere you go….I have two fathers but only ONE daddy. Daddy adopted me when I was 7/8 years old. he married mommy when I was 5 and we had our moments of gaining trust and developing a family like relationship, it wasn’t easy. at the time my biological father would pick me up on random weekends and I would spend time with him and his new wife – the most I remember with them is going to church and my grandparents from his side. when I was 6, mommy, new daddy and baby brother and I moved to Louisiana (new daddy in the army) I stopped hearing from biological father by then. I wouldn’t hear or see from him again until I was 12 and my mother’s parents – MY grandpapa and gummum (grandma) took me to see him briefly because I asked. it was like a 15 minute encounter and I got a pretty doll out of it….and that was about it (the doll was mailed to me at my grandparent's house) - we lived in Germany at the time and I was visiting my grandparents for the summer in the United States. from my understanding biological father didn’t pay child support either, but then when my daddy adopted me and I took his last name– I guess it didn’t matter then anyway. I did see biological father when I was 23 after we had moved to NC. it was a “surprise” visit set up by his wife’s nephew that I used to play with when I was little and I used to visit them. it was pretty cool I will admit, we stayed in touch for a year or so- spent our birthdays together (his birthday is 3 days after mine) I was in his god daughter’s wedding (they never had any children of their own) and spent quite a few weekends with them, they came to see the little boys dance class recital when I was teaching a dance class for boys…..and then he just stopped communicating all together again….I am still not really sure why….it just stopped. go figure….but really…..my step father is my daddy….he is the one who has been there for me since I was 5/6 years old….he is the one who took me to the emergency room on many occasions….came to my school functions, disciplined me whether I liked it or not, sat in his chair many a night waiting for me to come home when I was ALWAYS late for my curfew as a teenager, he is the one who drove me back and forth to school when I didn't want to take the school bus because of some bullies, he loves me unconditional, raised me to be the woman that I am today, and no matter how difficult I was with him in my growing years, he was there for me no matter what and then some…..I just could not imagine my life without him….he is the wonderful man who loved my mother enough to take care of her and love her and her bratty 5 year old (wink) – because let’s face it – I was spoiled rotten by mommy and grandpapa and gummum and Uncle J….he truly had his work cut out for him and I definitely did NOT make it easy for him as a child, as a teenager or as a grown up sometimes…..and I have to say he has handled it ALL the best he could and I love him so much for it. he IS DADDY….he IS MY FATHER….

that is one side of my brain and my thoughts for this father’s day….and unfortunately....this is my other…..

the ‘fathers’ who are not daddies….I just don’t get them, and quite frankly they tick me off….how can you NOT take care of your child?!?!? I am afraid I will just never understand the reasoning behind these men….the children are innocent….why punish them….maybe the 'fathers' don’t like the mommy anymore, or the pregnancy was a ‘surprise’, ‘mistake’, ‘unplanned’, mommy and daddy broke up….WHATEVER….get over it and take care of your BEAUTIFUL child (ren)….and I am sorry there are ways of preventing conception and if you didn’t want any babies then you should have taken the needed steps to NOT have them…..geeesh….it isn’t that hard people....but you didn't do that - SO GET OVER IT!
and just for the record - you can’t go around counting on abortion if you do happen to get someone pregnant….not everyone is FOR it….really.

so….the baby is here now and it wasn’t his or her idea in the first place….so just man up and be the daddy! you really have nothing to lose but so much to gain….do not punish the child because you didn’t want him ‘in the first place’ but did nothing to prevent creating him, he is here now and he is oblivious to your wishes….I have been recently talking with a good friend Digi and she too is struggling with this issue….she dated a man briefly and became pregnant….they had their child and he promised to give Digi and baby the world and then some….now he and Digi or no longer together because HE just couldn’t keep it in his pants or keep the lies straight and got caught and mommy got fed up and said asta la vista man…..good for Digi by the way…..but just because Digi said 'bye bye' doesn’t mean daddy gets a free ticket to ‘non parenting ‘ 101. you still have responsibilities….you still have a child that adores you and doesn’t understand why daddy doesn’t call or why daddy doesn’t come to see me, or where is my daddy anyway? the child does not understand your selfishness....MAN UP and step up and take care of the child…..ugh…..we have ENOUGH children out there with ONE parent….MEN if you are ALIVE and BREATHING take CARE of your CHILD (REN) DARN IT…..please….the children do not understand your absence from their lives….and they shouldn’t have to have their hearts broken at such a YOUNG impressionable age! Digi’s child’s ‘father’ only seems to come around if it is a chance to show the beautiful child off – like the child is a prize possession or trinket or something….totally whack man….get a CLUE. the child is a human being not a THING and not a weapon to use between mom and dad….children have feelings too….you can't just come in and out of their lives as YOU choose to....wake up.

my feeling on this at this time….I think that these ‘fathers’ aka ‘donors’ should be somewhat punished for not taking responsibility for another human beings life that they CREATED (and quite frankly sticking them in jail I don’t even think cuts it, because they still don’t seem to care)….and I know I am not the one in control and really have no say so….but if I could at all make a suggestion to the CREATOR….it would be this….jail doesn’t work….so sock it to them where it COUNTS….let their finances fade (especially if they are not financially supporting their off springs), let their teeth turn YELLOW, let their breath be so atrocious that no mouthwash, toothpaste, gum could ever cure it, let their toned bodies (if they are toned) go flabby, and if they aren't toned - let it get worse, let their pot bellies GROW, let their careers and dreams suffer and dimenish, let their cars break down, let their favorite sports team go on a hiatus, let the remote control for the tv be lost in eternity, let them always tell the truth no matter what the circumstance may be, let their friendships evaporate, and then when all that is said and done....make certain body parts go limp (if you know what I mean) and let the opposite sex not want anything to do with them…..UNTIL they MAN UP and BE a FATHER….better yet….A DADDY….and this includes sporting events, school functions, dance recitals, father and child QUALITY time together, not JUST “financial responsibility”!

if you ask me this would be so much better than jail time...come on

can I get an AMEN??

as for my DADDY – the latter part of this blog in no way affects you- you are my DADDY and you take care and love all of us unselfishly!

as for snhookums ‘father’ – you know the deal....(raised eyebrow)

as for all the non parenting parents out there….you better wake up….because in the end….it is YOUR loss….

(let's face it....raising children is the HARDEST job out there, but it is the most rewarding and it is the ULTIMATE blessing that God trusted you with and gave YOU the privilege of doing.....so don't go screwing it up....God picked YOU as the father for a REASON....)

and to those fathers and daddies out there who cherish their titles and jobs as a father and do everything that there is entailed to being a FATHER aka DADDY (even if you are with or not with the mother, even if your child wasn't planned, even if the mother is the one who pushes you away)....my hat goes off to you and I give you a big round of BRAVOS!!!!!!! ;o)


Be Blessed….Peace Forward…..Peace Out…… \/ …two fingers….

**small disclaimer - these are MY opinions of course**

random thoughts

random thoughts


just some random thinking today…I guess you can jump on and join my brain wave here and see if any of this random babbling jolts you today….(smile)

I was watching ‘On the Lot’ on FOX last night (one of my new summer fav shows to watch on the tube, Tuesday nights at 8pm), I love this show. if you haven’t seen it, this is what it is about - a bunch (I say bunch because I am not quite sure how many contestants they actually started out with, but they are down to 14 now and voting off another one next Tuesday) bunch of contestants that are ‘amateur, want to be directors, film makers’ and they compete with one another by showing these 1, 2, 3 minute films every week. the last one standing wins a DreamWorks studio development deal (sweeeeet!) the judges are the infamous Garry Marshall and Carrie Fisher and they are joined each week with a famous guest director. this show is very good, a nice change for reality. I mean my other fav reality show right now is ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ – these two shows are very cool and really show a lot of talent out there. now if I could have it my way, I would have been a filmmaker, director, cinematographer myself, that has always been a big dream of mine, a long with dancing and writing, but this dream I have kept more to myself I guess. in high school I would dream of making movies and music videos and actually plan them all out in my head. I would hear new songs come on the radio and make up the music video in my mind before they actually made one. I also took photography and drama, those too are big passions of mine….I guess I am just a very artsy person…living in NORTH CAROLINA (ha ha ha- now that is funny – right?) **giggling**

Okay here are some random bathroom thoughts….I think I chose the wrong outfit today….I guess I was in the ‘skinny state of mind’ again….geeeesh….fitting brown pants with a fitting brown lacey tank top and a poets tan, brown, cream blouse over top (also form fitting, although I have been stretching the bejezuz out of it all day….hoping it would get bigger and hang over my tummy instead of HUGGING my tummy area…..not much luck) what does this have to do with the bathroom? Well I just went into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of me sideways in the mirror….I still look like I have a preggy belly……sigh……like I said….wrong outfit today. but something else I was thinking about while in the bathroom stretching my blouse from elbow to elbow praying it would be a little bit looser when I was through trying to stretch it out….is it just me, or at work in the public bathrooms, do you have that CERTAIN stall you always go into? like it is guaranteed sanitation or something…lol…I mean that might be a question more for women….but I have noticed I like to go to this one stall in there…it isn’t the first one you come to or the second (the second one is darker for some reason…go figure) – but I have also noticed that certain people do go into the same stalls on a regular basis….what?!?!?! you think I am weird? well I probably am…but check it out sometime…..seriously….lol

randomly thinking….I like frogs now, not quite sure how that came about….but I do. as you can see from my blog site, I love little cartoon frogs, and ceramic cute collectable frogs….maybe because pickle juice got me a frog for Christmas and it is called MAMA MIA and there is a little baby frog (or lizard) on its back….humm…anyway….oh and FYI…I like FAKE frogs not real ones……EW.

just coming out of my lunch bible study class at work….randomly thinking how true it is that God sometimes tests us and brings us WAY WAY WAY down so that we will look to HIM to pull us WAY back UP…..makes you go hummm….

and my last random thought….isn’t it OKAY to have ice cream FOR breakfast? it has milk right????

weekend

weekend

okay this past weekend….nothing super exciting to report but shnookums did get his first car (woo hoo) and his first TWO bottom teeth are popping through (yay) and he is actually handling it very well, a little fussy from time to time, but nothing major, more like complaining in baby talk and then he moves on to something else….he is quite the trooper.
friday we packed up our stuff and went to grammy and papa’s right after work, we had a nice and relaxing time….only thing WOW to type from the visit is that nilly, grammy and papa’s doggie, went to lick shnookums in the face (he was sitting on the floor playing with his toys) and as nilly came up to shnookum’s face to lick him- shnookums opened his mouth….um…ER…uh….LUCKILY we all yelled at nilly to STOP and it distracted her right before she and shnookums made CONTACT…..whew….although I guess there are worse stories out there…like a co worker was telling us her 14 month old was “cleaning the toilet bowl with the toilet bowl brush” and she said she didn’t think much of it….until she noticed after he would swirl the toilet brush around in the toilet a few times, he would then lift the toilet bowl brush up in the air – holding it over his face- all the while opening his mouth so the “water” would drop into this mouth…..

your mouth is hanging open now isn’t it and your making a “eeeewwwww yuck ,that was so gross face” right? well ….that is not the worse part….just as she was running to him to tell him to stop, the brush goes into his mouth and he starts sucking the “water” off the bristles on the toilet bowl brush…..now your face is really squinched up huh….lol....hope you are not reading this and eating your breakfast (or lunch) at the same time….like I said, there are worse stories….trust me....

so….after driving back sunday morning we went straight to church, shnookums loves church, he loves the music and singing and dancing and the people that walk around waving the colored flags….he goes in a trance sometimes watching the flags…and then of course you have the man who walks around with the bubble gun blowing bubbles on everyone….shnookums thinks this is very funny. I know you are like…bubbles? flags?church??? yep….my church has it like that….lol…after church we went home and had some lunch while mommy tried to blow up shnookum’s first car….and let me tell you….that was a task and then some. whose idea was it to design something that you have to take YOUR OWN AIR inside YOUR OWN BODY and blow things up with it? I mean you have to blow it up so it will actually work....who has THAT much air in their body to blow these pool toys up? really? I blew the yellow canopy up and by the time I was done (40 minutes later) I was purple from lack of oxygen, my brow was glistening like the shower head and I am laying on the floor trying to breath, dizzy and light headed and hoping I had enough air left to actually take mr. shnookums to the pool and maybe even see his first day of kindergarten….all the while shnookums is sitting over me laughing and trying to grab my nose (as if that would help mommy breath better)….he thought this whole thing was super funny…and quite frankly - if I had any air left, I probably would have laughed with him….lucky for us…Uncle Wrestler and cousin D were at the pool and they finished blowing up shnookum’s car (in like 15 minutes- go figure....humph)but anyway....thank God for them because let me tell you this....shnookums was the KING of the pool in this thing….all the adults and kids, big and little wanted to come and honk his horn and check out his wheels as he went cruising by them….and shnookums just smiled and rode around like he was the coolest kat since already sliced and ready to go chocolate chip cookie dough (I like that much better than sliced bread because the “chef” that I am (or not)….I can so appreciate already sliced and ready to go chocolate chip cookie dough yanno…)

mr. shnookums was just chill n' in this car man....and mommy hopped around the pool pulling him in it....I am sure if I had a baby translator they would tell me the thing he was yelling out at me while pulling him around would have been something like...."gosh mommy, can't you go faster than that? hurry up!"

great picture huh.....lol

and oh yea....speaking of mommy in the pool....same man (we will call him B) that told me I was getting chunky in my last blog....reminded me sunday again to 'NOT GET FAT', and he said it to me like 5 times in a row and gave me that "I am so disappointed in you look" - meanwhile his wife was sitting behind him shaking her head in her hands and telling him to stop....she looked at me and said, "good thing you love B honey......" ....YEA....good thing....)

anyhoo the remainder of our Sunday we spent hanging in the pool, grocery shopping, taking baths…..and after dinner we chilled out and read some books and watched some tube before hitting the sack and getting our beauty rest for MONDAY….that all dreaded day of the week…..but all in all it was a very nice weekend.....

Beep! Beep! Watch out now!

let's talk about weight baby

let’s talk about weight baby
( same tune as salt n pepa's let's talk about sex baby)

I am writing this blog today because I am frustrated…..I went to put on a pair of pants today and realized if I wore these pants all day at work today I would be miserable….they made me look like a mushroom….it was like they squeezed everything UP and OUT and OVER (yea, nice visionary for you this morning….) and I was like NO WAY…unless I could unbutton the pants and sit at my desk all day (so I could actually breathe in them), these were just not going to work, granted before I got pregnant these pants used to HANG off my hips, and I actually bought them that way so they were EXTRA baggy….I used to be famous for my baggy pants and little waste and hardly any boo-tay….thanks for the reminder mr. size 10 pants….HUMPH…..me don’t love you anymore….

weight, this a word I am not really on the best of terms with lately….I remember when I used to BRAG about eating horrible and thinking that it was a good thing, because I was a size 4, hardly any body fat and a tummy that was flat as a pancake….now? now I hate the fact I eat horrible and would rather hide the fact than brag about it….granted I had a baby, but I am also older and my metabolism sucks. I used to go dancing at least 3 to 4 times a week, worked out in the gym religiously and I ate whatever I wanted. I have gone from a size 4/5 (sometimes 6) to LUCKY if I can squeeze into a 10…..so what am I really saying…..11 people…..ELEVEN…..double digits…..good grief. I used to wear junior clothes and was so PROUD….how sad….but before I go on, let me reiterate this to those of you who keep telling me to stop worring about my weight or those of you who already wear size 10’s, 11’s, 12’s etc….this is not a knock on you at all, and I know some of you tell me to get over it because you have been there most of your life etc….but please understand….I am not USED to it….I haven’t been this size for any of my young life, much less my adult life…..so it totally SUCKS for me, this weight thing is about me and me only….this weight gain makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin....even though there is "more of me to love"....the lesser of me is fighting it....I have closet full of clothes that feel neglected by me people, I open my closets praying something in there actually fits me…..and there they are…..the 4’s, the 5’s, the 6’s staring back at me….with tears in their eyes….”remember me? miss me? love me again?”….and I too….look back at them with tears in MY eyes…..sigh…”I do remember you, I do miss you, I so want to love you again....” sigh.

it is agony I tell you. pure.

so I know….you are like, “well DO something about it” and quit crying over it….and believe me, I am trying….but being a single mommy there just isn’t much time left in the day after I pick shnookums up from daycare, that is HIS time and I don't feel right dropping him off in another daycare so I can hit the gym, although we have been walking around the lake at least 3 to 4 times a week….so I am getting a little “exercise” in….I just have to work on my eating habits, I am a “skipper”…..I skip meals….and we all know skipping meals is not good and you actually GAIN weight from doing that (especially at age 35 vs. 25)….so….here I am….and get this....I actually still feel “skinny”….I walk around in a ‘skinny state of mind’ and then when I go into the bathroom and walk in front of the mirror…..REALITY hits….or like this morning, trying to squeeze into my size 10 mushroom pants all the while praying that if I PRAYED hard enough they would magically FIT….5 minutes later I can’t breath, my face is blue and I am sweating (“glistening” as my grandfather told me, he said women don’t sweat – they GLISTEN….so trust me ….a whole lot of glistening was going on….) and I am grumpy and sulking and prying the darn things off….then it hits me....I am no longer skinny....what has the world come to....lol

to make things worse, last night I am talking to a friend who thinks it is FUNNY I have gained weight (double humph), in fact he tells me, “once you have children you will be surprised at how fast you continue to gain weight, just watch.” and he laughs….he made it seem like it is just inevitable that I will continue to gain weight….but I have news….I am bound and determined to lose weight and get back in shape – no matter what. I think mr. shnookums deserves an 'in shape and can totally keep up mommy'....and I plan on giving him that (hopefully in the near near future mind you) and increasing my dieing energy that seems to be evaporating daily little by little….

now I do have a beautiful little boy that came out of this weight gain, and for that I would never change a thing, he seems to love me no matter what anyway, cushion and all (thank God)…..but I would love to be able to wear my favorite jeans again (that I actually wore until my 6 and ½ month of pregnancy) they were a size 7…..and then maybe I can be the “hot mom in the neighborhood’ like everyone assumed I would be....yanno….

I mean come on, a man from my church ran into me at the grocery store a month back, one of the nicest people you could ever meet, he is like an adopted grandfather to me....he comes over and gives me a hug and squeezes my arm....right then I knew....the arm squeeze....he looks at me and says, "oh honey, you have always been a beautiful girl...." before he can finish, I mumble something like, "oh that darn baby weight I have gained...." and he says, "don't let yourself go honey, your getting chunky, just because you have had a baby doesn't mean you should let yourself go..." ................................silence.......................... there I am with my jaw dropped open, like WOW, did he just say that? and I thought for sure he was going to tell me to "stop it, you are fine how you are"....but um...no....nope, that is not what he said....and just to confirm that is what he said....before I could pick my jaw up off the ground.....he said it again.....and I just smiled and nodded.....um

I just can't stand for this......and I won't I tell ya....

so to my dear closets full of size 4’s, 5’s and 6’s….”hang” in there (ha ha ha ha – get it? HANG in there….closet…clothes….lol….I crack myself up sometimes) you WILL one day…..be worn again….

okay....maybe not by ME….but someone will wear you….lol….

and I will LOSE weight….I will….I will….I will….I will….I will….so keep up with my blog and I will continue to share my weight gain vs. weight loss….and tell you HOW I will be doing it (as I finish eating my chocolate chip cookie for breakfast)

as of right now…..35lbs and size ELEVEN to go…..(whew....pray with me)

Peace out….\/…two fingers…..

monday

monday

what can I say……it’s MONDAY…………….sigh

busy, sleepy, need to make our 2 day weekends – 3 day weekends…better yet 4 would be cool.

shnookum’s and I went to A.W.’s son’s (little N) 1st birthday party Saturday and had a BLAST. A.W. just bought a new house and it was really nice, great house for gathering!! I enjoyed spending time with A.W. too, we don’t get to hang out like we used to….I enjoyed the family as well….super nice people!
little N racked up on the gifts man – I am ready to move into his room with him and have a toy fest (let’s face it, kids these days have some of the COOLEST toys…..even at the age of one) mr. shnookums and me were in awe and drooling at the view of all of the toys…..we were lost in toy land....people were waving their hands in front of our faces asking us to snap out of it.....whew

ravegirlie was there with the two girls (shy & z), and I have to say the girls were awesome with shnooklums, they are growing up so fast and into BEAUTIFUL young women....but look at their mom (ravegirlie) what would you expect, yanno...
feels like just yesterday I was 25 and hit n the clubs with A.W. & ravegirlie....and here we all are....mom n' it now....who would have thunk it....looking at shy & z makes me feel old now....lol....I remember when they were teeny tiny little girls who thought "hip hop a-licious" (that would be ME) was COOL...now they are tell n' me WHAT "COOL" IS....lol....go figure....

after leaving the party (actually we closed the party down, shnookums and me, just like the good ole days, mommy used to close the clubs down….lol….look out now….I have moved on to One Year Old’s Birthday Parties!) ha...ha...ha...

anyway afterwards we headed home and I gave shnookum’s his dinner and we played and chilled out the rest of the weekend….

and NOW….it is Monday….good old BUSY, sleepy, wish it was Friday Monday….we really should have a 3 day weekend….or 4….I already said that huh….oh well….I only repeat myself when it is VERY important (winking at Confucius Brown) ....so....bring on Tuesday….just one more day closer to Saturday….

peace….OUT…two fingers \/……

mr. shnookums aka mr. binky

mr. shnookums aka mr. binky ♥♥♥♥

yes, my little shnookums has many nicknames, shnookums being #1 because I started calling him that in his very first hours of joining me in the outside world….and he KNOWS that he is mr. shnookums and smiles very big when you call him that (or when mommy calls him that)….but he is also known as kai-A-licious, sweety kai, mr. hoops, & puffy cheeks (these are all mommy names- but Shnookums by far is the most popular, that and mr. binky) now daycare has their own names for shnookums too – they call him kaiser & kai-kai, it will be a wonder if shnookums will actually know who he is when he grows up….lol…and let’s face it - I will be calling him mr. shnookums, mr. shnookums when he is 30 - married with kids..etc...

now mr. binky is the endearing name given to him by his grammy and his uncle pickle juice (yes uncle pickle juice has a nickname too – but that is another story…lol) the reason behind this name, mr. binky, is that shnookums aka mr. binky ALWAYS has a binky ON him, IN his mouth, or NEAR him some where ….ALWAYS. (we even sleep with binkies, many times mommy has awaken with binkies stuck to her back, arms and legs– trust me on this one, a bed of binkies is not really all that comfortable...lol...). mr. shnookums has had a binky ever since he was a day old, he has all colors too (because my mommy is totally quirky and likes to color cordinate EVERYTHING- yes even mr. shnookum’s binkies)……yeaaaaa….yeaaaaa...you are looking at mommy funny....but me and mr. binky are looking back at you like, “yea…..so?” –shrug n’ our shoulders….

anyway…..mr. binky is very good with the binky too….he holds it upside down or sideways to chew on it (he chews because he is teething, or at least I think this is why he does that, he might have a different version of this story to tell you later on), and then he turns it around the right way to suck on it. now mr. binky is not needy with his binkies, in fact, he is quite matter of fact, the fact is – if there is a binky in his vicinity he will talk to it, play with it, chew on it, or suck on it etc....if there is no binky close by (which is very rare mind you) he won’t be upset about it – his attitude is that you can’t miss something you don’t have right now….how cool is that? but most likely – there will always be a binky around, normally clipped on to shnookums some way or fashion....in fact we now have grammy crocheting binky attachers...in assorted colors mind you, because mommy has to have mr. binky matching...eh hEM....lol….so as you can see….mr. binky IS mr. binky in every way, shape, form of the name. – oh and FYI they must be called BINKIES, he doesn’t know what a PACIFIER is….and mr. pacifier just sounds LAME….lol

So now that you have little tid bit of information, I am sure your day, your weekend, those sleepless nights of - “why why why do they call shnookums mr. binky too?!?!!!?” - will be so much easier now…..and I am so happy to help clear the air….and mr. binky would like me to let you know on his behalf - that he is very grateful too that you can now live peacefully understanding the meaning of mr. binky....

Have a Great Weekend! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥