my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

(if you haven't read the father's day blog - you might want to read that first)

Anonymous said...

Kudos!Poetic tribute to your father who took this responsibility.

But, then came the bitch slap to the punk who acts like a irresponsible teenager trying to avoid what is perceived to be his duty. (Deserved, yes - but not in this blog)

Question: Isn't birth prevention available to both male and female? So who are you really angry at? Choice or Outcome? If two people choose to establish a congecial interlude and one chooses not to stay engaged, then why such vitriol for an immature punk who can't take care of himself, let alone another baby? Your anger will only show through to your child, and why waste the energy? So, the definition of a father is not sperm donor or fails to provide the basics or calls periodically.....in fact if this becomes a question, probably not the person the child needs in his/her life anyway. A Father is: One who demonstrates: personal accountability,high values,self-respect and respect for others,wants you to be perfect but loves you with your flaws,figures out how to occupy your mind with positive experiences so you don't venture into the wrong path, consoles you in bad times but doesn't let you stay there long, hugs you when you least expect and again when you really need it, holds your friends to the same standards he holds you, never puts you in harm no matter how hard you try to find it, doesn't give you everything but makes you want for nothing, takes your hand away from temptation but eventually knows you will pull it away on your own, gives you opportunties to experience as much as possible but never makes resources ( money) the reason unable to do it( love, long walks and conversation are free), hides nothing about himself so you see he's not perfect but compared to most he is as close to perfect that you know, finally makes you realize he really is less than one in a billion! That is 1 out 8.

June 14, 2007 5:48 PM


my response to anonymous is this....since I don't know who you are, I can't really respond to just you- so since your comments are very valid I will comment on my blog....and I appreciate your input.....

as for what I wrote in my blog and your comment about it wasn't deserving ON my blog - I disagree - this is MY blog that I created to post MY feelings, experiences, thoughts, opinions etc....so I write what I am feeling AT THE TIME. as for the "bitch slap" as you called it - that was for all the fathers out there that don't do what they should....I have my own issues obviously with "fathering your child" but my blog yesterday was also in general as well as personal. I was also writing based on a few friends of mine that are dealing with "flighty" fathers as well - which is really what brought me to write the blog in the first place....like I said....surrrrrrreee I have issues with my child's father- but can you blame me? I am a mother and I CARE about my child's well being. I did not write that blog in anger as you seemed to have thought I did....but I am guessing whoever you are....you probably don't know me very well....I wrote that blog with extremely cozy feelings of my own dad and then wrote the other 1/2 with the side of my heart that HURTS for MY child and for other children out there whose fathers won't stand up....but not at all in anger - and just an FYI....I would never bring anger to my child nor would I ever bad mouth his father to him....he can make up his own mind about his father when that time comes....and I just pray that by then his father has stepped up and then some.

as for wasted energy....we all waste our energy on mute points sometimes....my writing is an outlet of all kinds of emotions and I don't think it is a waste of time or energy at all....I write what I feel when I feel it....and then let it go....and move on....it happens to be quite therapeutic.

even in serious situations like this last blog 'father's day' - I still find a way to throw some HUMOR into it, i.e. how father's who don't stand up should be punished....60% serious and 40% humor on that one....lol

and YES YES YES....it takes TWO to make a child, and YES they have birth control for both sexes, and YES it was BOTH our faults.....I have NEVER EVER denied that I wasn't TOTALLY at fault here as well....WE never discussed our intentions of what we would do if I became pregnant, unfortunately - THAT discussion came after it was TOO LATE (abortion was not an option for me)....but I am taking care of my responsibilities and would hope that the child's other half would do the same...mistake or not....wanted or not.....the child was conceived out of poor judgement and lack of oxygen to the brain (I might add)....and he is HERE...on planet earth....alive and kick n....and HE did nothing wrong....he didn't ask to be born OR conceived for that matter....so he doesn't deserved to be shunned or punished for mommy and daddy's fumble or major blunder (that def sounds more drastic)....and that was my entire point to that certain blog.really.and I do agree if the individual known as the father can not show a certain maturity and good role modeling - then NO it probably is NOT wise for the 'father' to be a part of the child's life....

and please KNOW this....I am not angry at my choice or my outcome...this little beautiful blessing of a little boy is my WORLD and I would do ANYTHING in my power for him! and if I had it to do over again....I would have him ALL OVER AGAIN!I will make sure he is HAPPY and at PEACE in life the BEST I can....and I will ALWAYS make sure he knows that he is LOVED and LOVED and LOVED some more.....

and that is my response to the above comment and a few of the other ones.... (smile)

but I do have one LAST question for whoever would like to answer or comment...

just curious....how can a "father" celebrate father's day with SOME if his children and not ALL of them.....behaving like certain ones do exist and others do not....how can that man be CELEBRATED as a FATHER when he isn't being a COMPLETE father to ALL his children that he is accountable for.......

okay....

Be Blessed this weekend - Peace Forward ~ Peace Out \/ two fingers.....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

(ps. i promise next week we will be back to HAPPY blogging....lol)

father's day

father's day

this is a long one so please brace yourself and please read the entirety of this heartfelt blog today….

I know Father’s Day is a good couple days away but it has been heavily on my mind lately….I mean how could it not be, advertisements 24.7 everywhere you go….I have two fathers but only ONE daddy. Daddy adopted me when I was 7/8 years old. he married mommy when I was 5 and we had our moments of gaining trust and developing a family like relationship, it wasn’t easy. at the time my biological father would pick me up on random weekends and I would spend time with him and his new wife – the most I remember with them is going to church and my grandparents from his side. when I was 6, mommy, new daddy and baby brother and I moved to Louisiana (new daddy in the army) I stopped hearing from biological father by then. I wouldn’t hear or see from him again until I was 12 and my mother’s parents – MY grandpapa and gummum (grandma) took me to see him briefly because I asked. it was like a 15 minute encounter and I got a pretty doll out of it….and that was about it (the doll was mailed to me at my grandparent's house) - we lived in Germany at the time and I was visiting my grandparents for the summer in the United States. from my understanding biological father didn’t pay child support either, but then when my daddy adopted me and I took his last name– I guess it didn’t matter then anyway. I did see biological father when I was 23 after we had moved to NC. it was a “surprise” visit set up by his wife’s nephew that I used to play with when I was little and I used to visit them. it was pretty cool I will admit, we stayed in touch for a year or so- spent our birthdays together (his birthday is 3 days after mine) I was in his god daughter’s wedding (they never had any children of their own) and spent quite a few weekends with them, they came to see the little boys dance class recital when I was teaching a dance class for boys…..and then he just stopped communicating all together again….I am still not really sure why….it just stopped. go figure….but really…..my step father is my daddy….he is the one who has been there for me since I was 5/6 years old….he is the one who took me to the emergency room on many occasions….came to my school functions, disciplined me whether I liked it or not, sat in his chair many a night waiting for me to come home when I was ALWAYS late for my curfew as a teenager, he is the one who drove me back and forth to school when I didn't want to take the school bus because of some bullies, he loves me unconditional, raised me to be the woman that I am today, and no matter how difficult I was with him in my growing years, he was there for me no matter what and then some…..I just could not imagine my life without him….he is the wonderful man who loved my mother enough to take care of her and love her and her bratty 5 year old (wink) – because let’s face it – I was spoiled rotten by mommy and grandpapa and gummum and Uncle J….he truly had his work cut out for him and I definitely did NOT make it easy for him as a child, as a teenager or as a grown up sometimes…..and I have to say he has handled it ALL the best he could and I love him so much for it. he IS DADDY….he IS MY FATHER….

that is one side of my brain and my thoughts for this father’s day….and unfortunately....this is my other…..

the ‘fathers’ who are not daddies….I just don’t get them, and quite frankly they tick me off….how can you NOT take care of your child?!?!? I am afraid I will just never understand the reasoning behind these men….the children are innocent….why punish them….maybe the 'fathers' don’t like the mommy anymore, or the pregnancy was a ‘surprise’, ‘mistake’, ‘unplanned’, mommy and daddy broke up….WHATEVER….get over it and take care of your BEAUTIFUL child (ren)….and I am sorry there are ways of preventing conception and if you didn’t want any babies then you should have taken the needed steps to NOT have them…..geeesh….it isn’t that hard people....but you didn't do that - SO GET OVER IT!
and just for the record - you can’t go around counting on abortion if you do happen to get someone pregnant….not everyone is FOR it….really.

so….the baby is here now and it wasn’t his or her idea in the first place….so just man up and be the daddy! you really have nothing to lose but so much to gain….do not punish the child because you didn’t want him ‘in the first place’ but did nothing to prevent creating him, he is here now and he is oblivious to your wishes….I have been recently talking with a good friend Digi and she too is struggling with this issue….she dated a man briefly and became pregnant….they had their child and he promised to give Digi and baby the world and then some….now he and Digi or no longer together because HE just couldn’t keep it in his pants or keep the lies straight and got caught and mommy got fed up and said asta la vista man…..good for Digi by the way…..but just because Digi said 'bye bye' doesn’t mean daddy gets a free ticket to ‘non parenting ‘ 101. you still have responsibilities….you still have a child that adores you and doesn’t understand why daddy doesn’t call or why daddy doesn’t come to see me, or where is my daddy anyway? the child does not understand your selfishness....MAN UP and step up and take care of the child…..ugh…..we have ENOUGH children out there with ONE parent….MEN if you are ALIVE and BREATHING take CARE of your CHILD (REN) DARN IT…..please….the children do not understand your absence from their lives….and they shouldn’t have to have their hearts broken at such a YOUNG impressionable age! Digi’s child’s ‘father’ only seems to come around if it is a chance to show the beautiful child off – like the child is a prize possession or trinket or something….totally whack man….get a CLUE. the child is a human being not a THING and not a weapon to use between mom and dad….children have feelings too….you can't just come in and out of their lives as YOU choose to....wake up.

my feeling on this at this time….I think that these ‘fathers’ aka ‘donors’ should be somewhat punished for not taking responsibility for another human beings life that they CREATED (and quite frankly sticking them in jail I don’t even think cuts it, because they still don’t seem to care)….and I know I am not the one in control and really have no say so….but if I could at all make a suggestion to the CREATOR….it would be this….jail doesn’t work….so sock it to them where it COUNTS….let their finances fade (especially if they are not financially supporting their off springs), let their teeth turn YELLOW, let their breath be so atrocious that no mouthwash, toothpaste, gum could ever cure it, let their toned bodies (if they are toned) go flabby, and if they aren't toned - let it get worse, let their pot bellies GROW, let their careers and dreams suffer and dimenish, let their cars break down, let their favorite sports team go on a hiatus, let the remote control for the tv be lost in eternity, let them always tell the truth no matter what the circumstance may be, let their friendships evaporate, and then when all that is said and done....make certain body parts go limp (if you know what I mean) and let the opposite sex not want anything to do with them…..UNTIL they MAN UP and BE a FATHER….better yet….A DADDY….and this includes sporting events, school functions, dance recitals, father and child QUALITY time together, not JUST “financial responsibility”!

if you ask me this would be so much better than jail time...come on

can I get an AMEN??

as for my DADDY – the latter part of this blog in no way affects you- you are my DADDY and you take care and love all of us unselfishly!

as for snhookums ‘father’ – you know the deal....(raised eyebrow)

as for all the non parenting parents out there….you better wake up….because in the end….it is YOUR loss….

(let's face it....raising children is the HARDEST job out there, but it is the most rewarding and it is the ULTIMATE blessing that God trusted you with and gave YOU the privilege of doing.....so don't go screwing it up....God picked YOU as the father for a REASON....)

and to those fathers and daddies out there who cherish their titles and jobs as a father and do everything that there is entailed to being a FATHER aka DADDY (even if you are with or not with the mother, even if your child wasn't planned, even if the mother is the one who pushes you away)....my hat goes off to you and I give you a big round of BRAVOS!!!!!!! ;o)


Be Blessed….Peace Forward…..Peace Out…… \/ …two fingers….

**small disclaimer - these are MY opinions of course**