christmas and things

shnookie doodles on grammies lap

& playing with his house...christmas and things

i have to say all in in all christmas was a blast! i will post christmas pictures in the next blog.

back at work today, wish i could have been off all week - but that was just impossible. my brother and wife will be leaving back to Illinois on monday - sad to see them go - wish i had more time with them. they are hoping to move back here and be close by - but they have a lot to do before they can actually do that. aunt mel and uncle pickle juice are absolutely amazing with shnookie doodles! he adores them! and their two lovely puppies sophie and gus. i think shnookie doodles was a little overwhelmed with all the family and gifts - but he loved it. he def got a lot of attention & racked up in the gift area!!! :o)

i spent christmas eve early day in the emergency room where my parents live, i have been having horrible back pains and spasms that run down into my legs - by christmas eve i could barely move - much less walk. they gave me some meds and i finally feel much better today. i am supposed to get up with my doctor and have an MRI done. i guess we will see - the emergency room thinks it might have been my sciatica nerve. i have never in my life had back issues before now- we are guessing it all stems from the pregnancy last year????? and what sets it off is....STRESS!

i have to say - so many wonderful blessings to be thankful for this year. God, my child, family, friends, jobs, little finances that pop in just when we need them (sometimes) and all the little things we receive every day and take for granted (roof over our heads, food, car to drive, the fact we WOKE up....)all in all it has turned out to be a pretty good year- we have had quite a few bumps & struggles in the road this year - plenty of "trials and tribulations" - but so far- so good. :o)

i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas & has an unlimited BLESSED 2008!

i will post more on christmas later w/ photos!

peace forward~~be blessed!

just stuff

just stuff

it has been a crazy 7 days. i was laid off on Friday and picked right back up by the end of the day because a co-worker put in her 2 weeks after i was let go (talk about WHEW). so i came back in on Monday to a different dept. and too top it off there was a lot of rearranging going on. people being moved to different departments, upstairs going downstairs - people from the other bldg moving to our bldg. upstairs. i was one of the upstairs people and now im downstairs. so this morning was spent moving everything UP-->down.

i am not to sure how i feel about the whole thing, but i know that i am BLESSED that i didn't lose any time and STILL have a job. another thing that i just KNEW i had - Monday i was told i didn't have it - ugh- so that really upset me, and the type of person i am, i am obsessing over it trying to figure out WHY...... i just need to move fwd and KNOW that God just has something better planned.

well 5 more days to Christmas, i can't wait. ready to veg out a little and spend time with my family and play with shnookie doodles. i have to finish up MOST of my Christmas shopping tomorrow evening and then bake all night - head out to mom's Saturday sometime..... i can't wait to see my bro and sis in law they will be here for the Holidays - a def treat. and to top the treat off, Christmas Eve will be spent with a lot of family LOVE and i so enjoy these times, all the family (or a bunch of us) hanging out together under one roof - that is the most important to me...gifts & good yummy food are cool but don't come close to La Familia. we are doing a white elephant gift exchange after dinner along with our regular gift exchange - although this year that has changed up a little bit too. instead of getting EVERYONE a gift - we drew names for a MAIN gift, a GAG gift and a STOCKING. i would tell you who i got, but they might be peeking - so i will fill you in after the event!

on a shnookie doodles note - he is OVER the rash thing but now has bronchitis and will be monitored for asthma. we don't have asthma on our side of the family and i can't get a hold of his "father" to find out if he has it anywhere on his side of the fam. (surprise, not) hopefully he doesn't have asthma. even being under the weather, that little dude is as busy as can be - he is so entertaining to watch because he totally amuses himself. we tried sitting on Santa's lap at a work potluck, but he wasn't having it - although he got a nice big fluffy-stuffed puppy out of it.

well work is still calling and im trying to get back into the swing of things......i will update more later!

Peace Forward ~ Be Blessed!

darn daycare

darn daycare

my babe is sick - again....geeeez. i seriously hope by the time he hits kindergarten that he is the healthiest kid in the class - considering he is always getting something from daycare! don't get me wrong, i think daycare is really awesome for his social skills etc....building his immune system - but good grief....sometimes i feel like he is sick more than he is well. no sooner has he just got over a slight ear infection and pneumonia in his left lung - i get a call from daycare to pick him up NOW because he is covered in a rash of red dots and high fever (arrrgh) poor little dude. so now he is out another week.....supposedly another baby in his class was sent home the week before with the same thing and because shnookie-doodles was just getting OVER pneumonia his immune system was down and he caught that too.

my parents have him this week because they live almost an hour a way and i just can't miss any more work.....so i have been without my little man since monday afternoon - my first time being away from him over night - much less a whole day. he will most likely come back tomorrow evening (grammy says he is looking much better) but man oh man i miss him like bananas! i found myself sitting in my living room the other night just looking at all his toys neatly put a way and listening to how quiet it was....i used to be solo before i had him so you would think this would be no big deal, but shooooot - i miss that little dude - i miss watching 'jack's big music show' over and over and over and over and watching him get all excited watching it and dancing, clapping, singing to it. playing all his noisy toys at one time and listening to him just babble a way at me.....just not the same with out him......sigh

so.....other than that - just trying to get ready for Christmas and "stuff" brother (uncle) pickle juice and sis in law (aunt) mel will be spending the holidays with us all...and i sooooooooo can not wait to see them! :o)

be blessed all!

encounters of many

encounters of many

i was sitting here thinking today about all the people i have encountered and all the people i have experienced….

i honestly have met a multifarious of people and befriended SO many of them in my life. so many interesting, fun, funny, silly, crazy, courageous, intelligent, mysterious, classy, classless, popular, unpopular, famous, quiet, wacky, shy, breath taking, handsome, beautiful, quirky, memorizing, plain, magical, cool, peaceful, loud, sporadic, spontaneous, wonderful, touching, simple, mean, meaningful, jealous, non spiritual, truly spirited, bothered, charismatic, sinful, hilarious, talented, sensible, sexy, sassy, full of life, adventurous, sad, whimsical, witty, entertaining, boastful, uplifting, strong, proud, holier than thou, humble, admirable, loving, outstanding, sweet, undeniably caring, phony, authentic, selfish, controversial, conservative, flashy, unselfish, insecure, uptight, wanna be, hysterical, chilled, child like, peaceful, mindful, totally relaxed, respectful, disrespectful, amazing, lost, graceful, clumsy, chatty, vivacious, animated, irksome, engulfing, liberated, closeminded, politicly correct, random, charming, unaware, conscious, facinating people….

and so on and so forth…

i have indubitably come across an amazing assortment of people in my life time. i miss so many of them, and some i wish i could see more often - while some i just wish them true bliss and happiness and peace. i realize how truly blessed i am that i got to experience so many different flavors of people (so far) in my 35 years of life. some good, some not so good - but i know i crossed paths with every single one of them for one reason or another. i believe each and every one of them have all helped me figure out WHO i am, in one way or another, all these people have helped mold me into who i am….

today anyway….

whether it be past or present or possibly the future - some challenged me, some excepted me, expected me, some loved me, some consoled me, some pushed me, some rushed me, some guided me, some betrayed me, some waited on me, some waited for me, some tested me, some admired me, some confused me, some hated me, some laughed with me, some cried with me, some had a blast with me, some denied me, some forgot me, some remembered me, some looked up to me, some looked down on me, some forgave me, some knocked me down while some others helped me back up, some moved me, some overwhelmed me, some taught me, some road right along beside me, some filled my heart, some broke my heart, some grew up with me, some moved away from me, some moved closer to me, some complimented me, some compromised me, some excited me, some belittled me, some equipped me, some showed me the world through their eyes, some brought pure joy to me, some brought stress, some comforted me, some infuriated me, some calmed me, some inspired me, some replaced me, some welcomed me, some made room for me, some brought tears, some brought smiles, some brought faith, some brought hope, some brought peace, some brought wisdom, …..but sadly….MOST have moved on – without me – and me without them....

for one reason or another

but that’s LiFe….

there are very few still around me in touch, in contact and i know i will always meet new people and those people will make new marks in my life as well, and the ones still in my life will continue to have their places in my heart and the ones that i might have forgotten, but remember now and then if only for a moment – are still there, deep inside my mind, my heart and my soul….

forever

if i sat down and wrote a list of these wonderful, touching, important characters in my life, it would probably take me another 35 years just to get them all down perfectly and tell EXACTLY what they ALL meant or mean to me or how they prepared me for ME.

so if you are reading this….i BET you are one of them….in one way or another…you have affected me…and made me who i AM right now, today…..at this moment.

thank you….

smile & be blessed

super kai

super kai

to save the DAY.......and I must say - he always does save MOMMY'S day! ;o)

my little big boy (picture show)

my little big boy

i just can not believe how much he has changed since his first birthday that was only just a month ago! unbelievable! he is an absolute delight to have around, to observe and most of all to LOVE. he is so beautiful.....in fact i think everyday he is more beautiful than the last. he makes me light up, he makes my parents light up, he makes the room light up, in fact i think he makes the whole PLANET light up......yes, i am a very proud proud mommy....if you couldn't tell.

life is so beautiful now, even the clutter and snug-ness of our teeny tiny apartment (and i mean teeny tiny - knock down the walls and it would be a very small (less than 500 square feet) studio) the scattered toys all over, the goldfish and puffies i find constantly in varias places around the floors, the constant "no no's" that are part of my daily vocabulary now, the sometimes sleepless nights when my mr shnookie doodles doesnt feel well and can't sleep, the stress from finances, the non existent social life i used to be so busy with......i wouldn't change any of it for the world.....nothing compares to having this blessing, this GIFT that God has graced me with.....

he is walking now, started doing it positively SOLO last Wednesday (uncle pickle juices 29th birthday actually - talk about great minds....) and he is so darn CUTE....deliciously CUTE....ridiculously CUTE....he walks like a little old drunken man....wobbly and all. everyday he is becoming more and more confident in his travels and i am cheering him on! i tell you i fall in love with him more and more everyday - even more than the day he was born - if that is even possible.....God must think something really wonderful of me to BLESS me with this incredible child, i have to pinch myself every day and make sure im not dreaming....i mean this yummy little boy calls ME (yes, can you even believe it....ME)........MOMMY.

amen & then some yanno........wow.

don't call me no mo' - don't text me no mo'

♪♪ don't call me no mo' - don't text me no mo' ♪♪

"cuz i'm through whicha - cuz i'm through whica"

are they kidding? LOL

if this is the NEW song - then please someone hand over a pen and a piece of paper QUICKLY and let me jot down a little DITTY for you!!!!

toooooooooooooooooooooooo funny (or maybe sad?) LOL

rambles

rambles

here is my shnookums, he is now 1 and i just can not believe how the time flies. this picture was on his first birthday a few weeks ago - after the cake- waiting patiently for mommy to clean him up. he is just SO beautiful. i love everything about him, i can't even pick just one thing.....it is just not possible. everyday he changes, i catch myself just sitting and watching him for hours - and he doesn't even know what i am doing. he is amazing to me - he is like a sponge and is learning something every minute of every day. i had no idea it was possible to love someone THIS much - no matter how cranky he gets (which is rare for him) no matter how many times he pulls my hair or yanks my earrings out (ha) - i can't even remember much of my life before i had him - i mean i can - but it seems so long ago now- and i wonder- why had i not had him sooner? boy was i missing out! :o) he was so much fun at his birthday, half the time not even knowing what was going on and other times very intrigued by what was going on....

my gf said looking at her daughter everyday was like the very first day the doctor put her daughter in her arms for the very first time.....and i can so relate to what she was saying.....

every morning is like Christmas with shnookums, awaking to see the new surprises of the day- and enjoying every minute i have with him....i truly cherish him and our time together. when i get off work i can't seem to go pick him up at daycare fast enough, i miss him SOOOO much throughout the day.

i thank God everyday all day for this wonderful child he graciously blessed me with.....there is truly nothing BETTER in this world than being his MOMMY.

enjoy some birthday pics.....

my baby is ONE today!

my baby is ONE today!

wow.....i feel so emotional today, ha. he is 1.....he is a whole year old now (technically he will be a whole year at 10:07 PM tonight) i woke him up this morning singing Happy Birthday - he was so cute he was just smiling and laughing at me. i was watching him sleep last night, he looks like a little person.....not my teeny tiny newborn baby.....and after all this time, he still looks peaceful and happy, so innocent.....i pray he will always be so happy and peaceful and that if he has to lose that innocence (which of course he will) that is happens gracefully. :o)

i got him a little cake and a little present for tonight - just me and him. :o) and i got a big ONE candle to put on the cake. i am going to leave or my lunch break here soon and go get him some of those teeny tiny cupcakes for school and a couple balloons. i know he really doesn't know what is going on.....but I do! :o)

i decided he and I will have a birthday tradition. at 10:07 PM on his birthday he will always get a special gift. :o) as he gets older, it will be the one BIG item that he REALLY wants for his birthday :o) tonight it will just be my little gift to him. :o)
and i have a sneaky suspicion that he will have two birthdays anyway - ha. one with Mommy and the other with Grammy and Papa and family. i mean how exciting - several days of presents is always nice!

we are having his actual birthday PARTY this Saturday and Grammy & Papa's house - so much fun. i really hope the turn out is nice - lots of pictures to put in his baby book and time capsule i am making for him.

as i sit here......i just can not believe a whole year has gone by with this little dude.....i am just amazed at how much he has grown, how much he has changed, and how much he has learned and is still learning.....mommyhood has been so wonderful so far....i constantly look forward to what is next with shnookums....

just 4 more days

just 4 more days

omg! shnookums is going to be a YEAR OLD in 4 days!! i seriously can not believe it.

i spent the past two evenings going through his clothes for the 5th time. i have already given away two humongous bags of his clothes that i could actually part with and not get all emotional about, well kinda....sort of. (yes people, giving away his teeny tiny clothes makes me sad....lol)

as of last night i had 2 more great big bags of clothes that he can no longer wear - i swear i could have my own little baby boy's clothing store with what this little dude had stored away in my closets (yes closets is plural). not to mention all my little teeny tiny pairs of teeny tiny shoes....sigh. and this doesn't even count the big bag of stuff i said i was saving.......whew.

okay, i am snapping out of it.

any how - he is going to be 1 which means i have been post preggy for a YEAR and I still haven't lost any weight. sigh. i know everyone tells me to not harp on it....but it is driving me bananas. i tell you i still feel like the skinny girl i used to be - only a mere 2 years ago....but then i look in the mirror or run out of breath carrying shnookums and the world back and forth when we are out running around etc....and i am reminded----the skinny ME is on vaca. double sigh.
ummmmm hummmmm.....before preggy.....yep - i heard you sigh too. now you know what i am saying? one day i keep telling myself.......ONE DAY........hopefully SOON. i am giving myself to Christmas to get back to a single digit size clothing. at least lose 40lbs....even 30lbs i would feel much better.

okay enough about weight - - back to my babe. :o)

yes, he is becoming such a little man. and to think while i was pregnant i was always trying to imagine becoming a mother and what he would like, and how would it be when i first met him.....well first meeting him was BLISS and totally indescribable. i have said it a 1000 times - i never knew a love like this existed. no matter what kind of day i have - when i see him - it makes me smile and happy and i just want to kiss him all over and make sure he is happy and LOVED.
this was me falling in love. just about to pop - i had to take some pics of my beautiful growing belly with my wonderful blessing growing inside. i can actually say - even with all the "issues" i had while preggy - it was one of the best times of my life - ever! the other time? giving birth to shnookums and holding him and loving him intimately for the very first time.

and here we are......here he is......about to turn 1 years old. he will be an actual number now....not just a week or a month. :o) how exciting - and yet EMOTIONAL. my birthday wish for him is this.....I pray he knows he is LOVED, GODLY, that he is HAPPY, STRONG, HEALTHY, INTELLIGENT, SWEET, RESPECTFUL, SUCCESSFUL, THAT HE CAN DO ANYTHING HE PUTS HIS MIND TO, SAFE, COMFORTABLE, INFINITE BLESSINGS, and just HAPPY.....HAPPY.....HAPPY.....HAPPY.....HAPPY.....etc. and i pray that AB takes NOTICE of him and stops holding grudges, that is heart opens and he finds the love this little boy deserves.

XOXOXOXO PEACE FORWARD ALL!! XOXOXOXO

i can't believe it

i can't believe it

i know it has been a good minute (or two) since i have posted anything on my lovely blog here - so much for trying to do it weekly (ugh) ever since i moved into this new department at work i haven't had a moment to breath much less write in a blog (smile) but i love that it has been keeping me super busy - makes the day go by sooooo much faster - as where as before it DRAGGED. and you can forget about trying to blog once i get home with shnookums at the end of the day - mr. busy body just won't have any of that. it is all about him, which frankly i have no problem with at all. he is growing way way too fast - i can't believe it- he will be ONE people.....ONE in 13 days!!!!!! i swear to you i was pregnant a WHOLE LOT LONGER than it has taken him to reach his ONE YEAR celebration - seriously.

he is crawling up a storm (and pretty darn fast i might add) he pulls himself up on anything he possible can (my leg, couch, chairs, toys, tables, doorways, toilet seat) and i promise you i have seen that little rascle stand up solo in the middle of the room too with this 'you just wait mommy mischevious grin' and then sit back down with this thoughtful look like 'oh yea, i am almost there - watch out world- here i come!' - - - - - - i am so not kidding. he talks a mile a minute too, babbling jarbled baby talk, but non the less - he is def a chatterbox and whatever he is saying i am sure it is pretty darn serious because he looks at mommy straight in the face and waits for me to respond with this serious look like 'you know what i am say n' mommy' - too funny.

he has become this teeny tiny little person right before my eyes, he is a HAPPY little boy and has sooooo much personality already, i think i have even seen a little bit of a TUDE (ha) wonder who he gets that from (eh HEM....) and he is now very particular about things - people-food-toys-bedtime (lol) waving bye bye- waving hello, clapping, dancing, singing, playing peek-a-boo, smiling at mommy when she says no-no and doing it anyway (something tells me the no-no thing is just the beginning of a lifelong thing - ha), posing for the camera (again no idea where he gets that stuff from...lol).....yet it seems like just yesterday i was anticipating his arrival and then welcoming him into my arms last September 10th for the very first time ever........now look......13 more days and he will be ONE!

we are having a wonderful little gathering for him September 15th - and i know they say the first birthday is more for the parents, and they are probably right (smile) but I am so excited about it, and shnookums is so observant that i already just know he is going to love it! he loves attention anyway (again no idea who he gets that from) wink. i am planning a time capsule for his first birthday - something full of wonderful memories from the people in his life right now as he turns a CELEBRATED BLESSED ONE YEAR OLD - so he can look back at it when he gets older and enjoy (mommy too).

and i am also celebrating being a MOMMY for a year....it has been an absolute collaboration of emotions and pure BLISS and JOY - it has had it's unsure moments with certain sicknesses etc....and daycare stuff....but it has been the time of my life, i would have never imagined this kind of love before i had shnookums - and for that i am truly BLESSED and GRATEFUL.

God just ROCKS! ;o)

well i am back to work, but i am going to try to do better at updating my blog.....TRY. (wink)

peace forward ~ infinite blessings!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

so busy

so busy

I feel like one day here I will get back to blogging…..sigh and I started out so well too.
my goal was once a week and there for a minute I was actually blogging a couple times a week. it has been some time since my last blog – I started a new department once my manager came back from vaca – and this new department is no joke – busy busy and very detailed – a lot more little things to do than what I was doing before.
I have new pics of shnookums and pics from pickle juice’s visit – so I will get on that super soon….I hope my fellow blog readers have not forgotten me….I promise to start doing better with my blogging. I can say I have had a lot of emotions running through me lately – pertaining to shnookums (of course), my family, finances, work and God has been a very big part of it all…..I have had so much material bouncing around in my head for my poetry and no time to jot it all down….such a waste……well I know this wasn’t much – just a taste of me today – but more work has piled on top of the work I already had waiting on me…..

Peace Forward and Much Love…..Infinite Blessings!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxxo

busy

okay i have been absolutely swamped this week and last week- my manager is out of town on vacation and things have been bananas! i haven't had time to blog - but i wanted to letcha know i am still alive and breathing! so here is a poem a wrote a little while back - you might have read it before - but trust me i have probably tweaked it a few times since then....i just can't help myself.....lol....please enjoy and i will write an update later about life's happenins! i hope every one has a happy 4th of July (happy birthday Gina and China)!! we will be doing the FAM thing as usual - pickle juice and mel are in town - so we got to hang with them - OF COURSE! shnookums is fabulous as always - he is such a ham and what a cute little personality he has blooming!

until next blog.....Peace Forward and BE BLESSED! xoxxooxoxoxoxox

\/

WHO

who am I really = who are you = whose behind my conservative flesh = who hides behind your obvious smile = who dances naked in the dark behind closed but slightly cracked doors = I’ll let you watch for a little while = if you ask me = don’t ask me why I do this = keep those thoughts to yourself = I do this because I am autonomous = wide open language that interprets my many moods = my orthodox eyes hold many surreptitious whims that are without a doubt unknown to you = developed in me = do you babe and I will do me = my recuse of everyday moments leave me in a “I can’t wait for tomorrow” state of mind = my thoughts are legit in my skin = verified in my ability to write the word of my wants = my necessity to create origination in my innovation = a crease in a new sheet of paper = another wrinkle on my soul = where are yours = can you see me for me = or see me as I present me = how do you present you = do I even know you = peel away the layers of each of my characters individual outfits = buy a new coat to cover your true emotional validation = I carry my reputation in my mouth = can you hear it = don’t cover both your ears = you might miss what I am about = don't close your eyes and blink = you might lose sight of me = I could vanish quickly = my contemplated wonders sink deep into my chambers of complex features that edit my untold stories = I critique my completed paragraphs of unfinished replenished contraptions = I hold them for later = I share them in rations with you = with them = I swallow the crumbs of my leftovers and keep the digesting to myself = ramifications uphold artificial felicity in my handshake on life = misery loves company = not quite = take your tribulation somewhere else = don’t share the woe is me with me = I am not intrigued = engross my turned on mind of many infatuated situations I hand out in small doses = your waiting for another hit = I can see it = lay back and I will let you borrow it for a minute = or two = wrap my intelligence in your arms = embrace my mentality in your adopted grace of demureness = my shy humility is timid and reserved = don’t break it’s meekness protected by unbreakable walls = don’t hammer me = except me = question is can I except you for excepting me as I am = I sing while no one is listening = make up my own words of compliance melody out of pitch = a little off key = I am not a karaoke sistah wanna be = I am real = are you as real as me = or do you just pretend to be = can you shed your winter clothing and show me your birthday suit of who you were planned to fashion and walk the runway of this very planet = can you undergo this universe with me = participate in each taste of vulnerability that presents the undecided passages we eat = contemplations of identity rest on our tongues = waiting to be washed down with a glass of cold reality = we stuff ourselves full of bulimic purges until we are empty again = starting over = can you start over with me = can you touch me without physically touching me = kiss my passionate longings without disappointing me = will I disappoint you = can you drive my intellect stick shift stimulation with out crashing = can you stay by my side without passing or smashing into my un drama like visions I imprison without parole = don't cause me any drama man = do you think you can hang = can you strengthen my fait and exhilarate my soul without pushing me over the edge = who am I really = who are you = who hides behind my inviting smile = whose behind your conventional flesh = is this just a justification in protest of the quest to test us and confess...

© AEP 2006, 2007

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

it's friday

friday finally

it’s Friday ….yay

I am a little under the weather today, I think I have a summer cold but I am so happy it is Friday what a wonderful thing to wake up too in the morning…..FRIDAY. LOL


wednesday mr. shnookums had his 9 month check up and he did wonderful! he is such a good baby and does so well for doctor C’Man, I am so proud of him. he now weighs 20 lbs even and is 28 and ¼ inches long and he is super healthy! he has learned a few things…he can clap on command, although I catch him clapping the side of his head and face sometimes….lol….his two bottom teeth have poked through the gums and he has two top teeth that haven’t poked through yet, but you can see that it will be any day now that they will be coming through as well. I swear it is THAT time again, I need to go buy the little one some more clothes….he is alrrady growing out of the summer clothes I got him a month or so back….they really do grow way too fast……I can’t believe he is already 9 months and 10 months isn’t too far around the corner….
I think this weekend we will just stay at home….we normally go see papa and grammy in “L”burg– but they have something they have to do on Saturday anyway.
me and shnookums are invited to michael p’s house for a little get together with some old old friends on Saturday, people I haven’t seen since I was the skinny – dancing- YOUNGER (lol) hip hop amy…..wow that seems like eons ago….it will be kind of cool to see some old faces…..


speaking of dancing, So You Think You Can Dance was on Wednesday night, OMG the talent on there is AMAZING….watching these kids dance is so awesome I get such a HIGH from just watching them and the choreography is out of this world….I am so happy they brought wade robson on as a regular choreographer, his style is bananas – I love him! mia micheals is my fav when it comes to contemporary dance – she too is a GENIUS…and let us not forget Shane Sparks he is fantastically fabulous when it comes to the street hip hop dances and next week they are having debbie allen!!! I can’t wait….I am so excited….I grew up watching FAME….I used to run and leap in the backyard singing….’Fame! I’m gonna love you forvever! Baby remember my name! Fame!’ do you remember debbie allen and her cane and she would bang it on the floor to get the dancers to stay on beat…..wow….so cool.
last night So You Think You Can Dance voted off faina and jimmy….so sad….I hate to see them cry....I so know how they feel….this year all the dancers are SO GOOD I don’t know how anyone could pick. my favorites at this moment are jessi, lacy, sabre and lauren, and for the guys I love kameron, pasha, dominic and of course hok. I really have to get back into dancing and get to losing some weight! :o)


any HOO….Sunday Bishop Drew Rouse is at our church and I can’t wait to hear what he has to say – he is fantastic, I love how he gets so excited when he is speaking…..he has already touched me with his words, prayers and blessings and I can not wait to see what is in store this time around. he will be here for Sunday morning service and then Monday and Tuesday evenings! I encourage any and everyone to come out and hear him!


Work has been really busy…..I think I have typed ‘efforts continue to complete objectives’ a thousand times in the past two days….whew…..


Hope everyone has a BLESSED and FABULOUS weekend! I will write more next week…..


Peace Forward…..Peace OUT……\/ two fingers!

pee n poop

pee n poop

(what a fantastical title)

fyi – very graphic material today….be forewarned….. LOL

now here is an interesting subject, at least for those of us who have babies or children in general….have you ever noticed HOW much you actually talk about PEE n POOP, among other bodily functions when you have babies? and yes I just said PEE and POOP in capital letters, there just isn’t any sweeter way to put it quite frankly….lol….plus I don’t think you get that ‘special’ affect if you don’t capitalize those words….now where am I getting this from….well I notice today, I myself, talk about it rather casually and quite a bit to anyone who will listen (funny I seem to find it quite amusing) and I have heard other mommies (normally) talk about it just as much....at work, church, stores – you name it. now I have a little boy and I am thinking they are probably just a wee bit trickier than little girls when it comes to changing diapers (although I have heard a few good wopping PEE n POOP stories about little girls too...ummmm hummmm....yes I have)….let’s face it peoples, it takes talent to NOT get pee’d on. little boys, as soon as the air hits, you are most likely in TROUBLE and depending on which way he is ‘angled’ depends on HOW much trouble you are basically in….if you know what I mean….wink wink….it definitely takes some practice to become a pro at whipping one diaper off and getting the other one on at the VERY same time and some how using the wipes as well…..so far I think I am getting pretty darn good…although grammy doesn’t always seem to be so lucky, poor grammy gets PEE’d on a lot….but trust me I have been pee’d on more times than I can count….not to mention shnookums has pee’d on himself too….he has pee’d in his ear (now that is really talented if you ask me), his face, his eye – he has pee’d UP and it never even came back down….to this day, I don’t know WHERE it went….and then this little man has the nerve to look at MOMMY like she did it, like it was HER fault….why that little rascal…..lol…..and OF COURSE let us not forget that big four letter word….POOP….when you think he is all done PEE n’ and POOP n’ – you are confident and you have the diaper off and you are reaching for the clean one – and he POOPS…..again….wide open….nothing to CAPTURE it…..yep….tell me this hasn’t happened to you….and I will applaud you, because you actually are more talented than I….although after that happened to me once….okay MAYBE twice…it has not happened again….(raised quirky eyebrow)
and what really sucks is when you go to grab the wipes (you know the container that lets you pull one out at a time – or two, mine always get stuck) and it is EMPTY!!! Eeeeeegad! Now that TOTALLY sucks…..specially at POOPY time….(scary face) and don't get me started about the COLORS of POOPY....yea, you know the BLACK TAR (I don't know about you, but man that stuff scared the bejezuz out of me - eeeek) then there is the yellow mustardy POOPY (with or without seeds thank you), the carmel peanut butter type POOPY and then you move on to the regular BROWN HORRIBLY STINKY SMELLY POOPY.....yea..... don't get me started about THAT.....whew.

I have to say before I close….my favorite PEE ing episode would be when shnookums sat in his little tub while getting a bath and the PEE went straight UP and OVER him like a rainbow….not a drop hit him or his little bathtub….now my OPEN shampoo bottle was another story….but what can I say – he has GREAT aim! I am thinking I might just have a little b-ball player on my hands….and YES….I got that IDEA from PEE n’…..

so as you can see talking about PEE and POOP comes so easily now that I am a mommy….I used to think that kind of talk was GROSS (probably like those of you reading this that might not have any kids yet….lol)….but now it is just EVERYDAY LIFE…..I change diapers like I change my clothes, I talk about PEE and POOP like I am talking about the Lakers, shoes, weather, shopping etc….and if you don’t care, I will probably continue talking about it....until shnookums is potty trained….and then that will just be a whole NEW subject on that subject…..LOL…so stay tuned….. ;o) ;o)

Peace Forward ~ Be Blessed!

my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

my comments to those on the last blog - father's day

(if you haven't read the father's day blog - you might want to read that first)

Anonymous said...

Kudos!Poetic tribute to your father who took this responsibility.

But, then came the bitch slap to the punk who acts like a irresponsible teenager trying to avoid what is perceived to be his duty. (Deserved, yes - but not in this blog)

Question: Isn't birth prevention available to both male and female? So who are you really angry at? Choice or Outcome? If two people choose to establish a congecial interlude and one chooses not to stay engaged, then why such vitriol for an immature punk who can't take care of himself, let alone another baby? Your anger will only show through to your child, and why waste the energy? So, the definition of a father is not sperm donor or fails to provide the basics or calls periodically.....in fact if this becomes a question, probably not the person the child needs in his/her life anyway. A Father is: One who demonstrates: personal accountability,high values,self-respect and respect for others,wants you to be perfect but loves you with your flaws,figures out how to occupy your mind with positive experiences so you don't venture into the wrong path, consoles you in bad times but doesn't let you stay there long, hugs you when you least expect and again when you really need it, holds your friends to the same standards he holds you, never puts you in harm no matter how hard you try to find it, doesn't give you everything but makes you want for nothing, takes your hand away from temptation but eventually knows you will pull it away on your own, gives you opportunties to experience as much as possible but never makes resources ( money) the reason unable to do it( love, long walks and conversation are free), hides nothing about himself so you see he's not perfect but compared to most he is as close to perfect that you know, finally makes you realize he really is less than one in a billion! That is 1 out 8.

June 14, 2007 5:48 PM


my response to anonymous is this....since I don't know who you are, I can't really respond to just you- so since your comments are very valid I will comment on my blog....and I appreciate your input.....

as for what I wrote in my blog and your comment about it wasn't deserving ON my blog - I disagree - this is MY blog that I created to post MY feelings, experiences, thoughts, opinions etc....so I write what I am feeling AT THE TIME. as for the "bitch slap" as you called it - that was for all the fathers out there that don't do what they should....I have my own issues obviously with "fathering your child" but my blog yesterday was also in general as well as personal. I was also writing based on a few friends of mine that are dealing with "flighty" fathers as well - which is really what brought me to write the blog in the first place....like I said....surrrrrrreee I have issues with my child's father- but can you blame me? I am a mother and I CARE about my child's well being. I did not write that blog in anger as you seemed to have thought I did....but I am guessing whoever you are....you probably don't know me very well....I wrote that blog with extremely cozy feelings of my own dad and then wrote the other 1/2 with the side of my heart that HURTS for MY child and for other children out there whose fathers won't stand up....but not at all in anger - and just an FYI....I would never bring anger to my child nor would I ever bad mouth his father to him....he can make up his own mind about his father when that time comes....and I just pray that by then his father has stepped up and then some.

as for wasted energy....we all waste our energy on mute points sometimes....my writing is an outlet of all kinds of emotions and I don't think it is a waste of time or energy at all....I write what I feel when I feel it....and then let it go....and move on....it happens to be quite therapeutic.

even in serious situations like this last blog 'father's day' - I still find a way to throw some HUMOR into it, i.e. how father's who don't stand up should be punished....60% serious and 40% humor on that one....lol

and YES YES YES....it takes TWO to make a child, and YES they have birth control for both sexes, and YES it was BOTH our faults.....I have NEVER EVER denied that I wasn't TOTALLY at fault here as well....WE never discussed our intentions of what we would do if I became pregnant, unfortunately - THAT discussion came after it was TOO LATE (abortion was not an option for me)....but I am taking care of my responsibilities and would hope that the child's other half would do the same...mistake or not....wanted or not.....the child was conceived out of poor judgement and lack of oxygen to the brain (I might add)....and he is HERE...on planet earth....alive and kick n....and HE did nothing wrong....he didn't ask to be born OR conceived for that matter....so he doesn't deserved to be shunned or punished for mommy and daddy's fumble or major blunder (that def sounds more drastic)....and that was my entire point to that certain blog.really.and I do agree if the individual known as the father can not show a certain maturity and good role modeling - then NO it probably is NOT wise for the 'father' to be a part of the child's life....

and please KNOW this....I am not angry at my choice or my outcome...this little beautiful blessing of a little boy is my WORLD and I would do ANYTHING in my power for him! and if I had it to do over again....I would have him ALL OVER AGAIN!I will make sure he is HAPPY and at PEACE in life the BEST I can....and I will ALWAYS make sure he knows that he is LOVED and LOVED and LOVED some more.....

and that is my response to the above comment and a few of the other ones.... (smile)

but I do have one LAST question for whoever would like to answer or comment...

just curious....how can a "father" celebrate father's day with SOME if his children and not ALL of them.....behaving like certain ones do exist and others do not....how can that man be CELEBRATED as a FATHER when he isn't being a COMPLETE father to ALL his children that he is accountable for.......

okay....

Be Blessed this weekend - Peace Forward ~ Peace Out \/ two fingers.....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

(ps. i promise next week we will be back to HAPPY blogging....lol)

father's day

father's day

this is a long one so please brace yourself and please read the entirety of this heartfelt blog today….

I know Father’s Day is a good couple days away but it has been heavily on my mind lately….I mean how could it not be, advertisements 24.7 everywhere you go….I have two fathers but only ONE daddy. Daddy adopted me when I was 7/8 years old. he married mommy when I was 5 and we had our moments of gaining trust and developing a family like relationship, it wasn’t easy. at the time my biological father would pick me up on random weekends and I would spend time with him and his new wife – the most I remember with them is going to church and my grandparents from his side. when I was 6, mommy, new daddy and baby brother and I moved to Louisiana (new daddy in the army) I stopped hearing from biological father by then. I wouldn’t hear or see from him again until I was 12 and my mother’s parents – MY grandpapa and gummum (grandma) took me to see him briefly because I asked. it was like a 15 minute encounter and I got a pretty doll out of it….and that was about it (the doll was mailed to me at my grandparent's house) - we lived in Germany at the time and I was visiting my grandparents for the summer in the United States. from my understanding biological father didn’t pay child support either, but then when my daddy adopted me and I took his last name– I guess it didn’t matter then anyway. I did see biological father when I was 23 after we had moved to NC. it was a “surprise” visit set up by his wife’s nephew that I used to play with when I was little and I used to visit them. it was pretty cool I will admit, we stayed in touch for a year or so- spent our birthdays together (his birthday is 3 days after mine) I was in his god daughter’s wedding (they never had any children of their own) and spent quite a few weekends with them, they came to see the little boys dance class recital when I was teaching a dance class for boys…..and then he just stopped communicating all together again….I am still not really sure why….it just stopped. go figure….but really…..my step father is my daddy….he is the one who has been there for me since I was 5/6 years old….he is the one who took me to the emergency room on many occasions….came to my school functions, disciplined me whether I liked it or not, sat in his chair many a night waiting for me to come home when I was ALWAYS late for my curfew as a teenager, he is the one who drove me back and forth to school when I didn't want to take the school bus because of some bullies, he loves me unconditional, raised me to be the woman that I am today, and no matter how difficult I was with him in my growing years, he was there for me no matter what and then some…..I just could not imagine my life without him….he is the wonderful man who loved my mother enough to take care of her and love her and her bratty 5 year old (wink) – because let’s face it – I was spoiled rotten by mommy and grandpapa and gummum and Uncle J….he truly had his work cut out for him and I definitely did NOT make it easy for him as a child, as a teenager or as a grown up sometimes…..and I have to say he has handled it ALL the best he could and I love him so much for it. he IS DADDY….he IS MY FATHER….

that is one side of my brain and my thoughts for this father’s day….and unfortunately....this is my other…..

the ‘fathers’ who are not daddies….I just don’t get them, and quite frankly they tick me off….how can you NOT take care of your child?!?!? I am afraid I will just never understand the reasoning behind these men….the children are innocent….why punish them….maybe the 'fathers' don’t like the mommy anymore, or the pregnancy was a ‘surprise’, ‘mistake’, ‘unplanned’, mommy and daddy broke up….WHATEVER….get over it and take care of your BEAUTIFUL child (ren)….and I am sorry there are ways of preventing conception and if you didn’t want any babies then you should have taken the needed steps to NOT have them…..geeesh….it isn’t that hard people....but you didn't do that - SO GET OVER IT!
and just for the record - you can’t go around counting on abortion if you do happen to get someone pregnant….not everyone is FOR it….really.

so….the baby is here now and it wasn’t his or her idea in the first place….so just man up and be the daddy! you really have nothing to lose but so much to gain….do not punish the child because you didn’t want him ‘in the first place’ but did nothing to prevent creating him, he is here now and he is oblivious to your wishes….I have been recently talking with a good friend Digi and she too is struggling with this issue….she dated a man briefly and became pregnant….they had their child and he promised to give Digi and baby the world and then some….now he and Digi or no longer together because HE just couldn’t keep it in his pants or keep the lies straight and got caught and mommy got fed up and said asta la vista man…..good for Digi by the way…..but just because Digi said 'bye bye' doesn’t mean daddy gets a free ticket to ‘non parenting ‘ 101. you still have responsibilities….you still have a child that adores you and doesn’t understand why daddy doesn’t call or why daddy doesn’t come to see me, or where is my daddy anyway? the child does not understand your selfishness....MAN UP and step up and take care of the child…..ugh…..we have ENOUGH children out there with ONE parent….MEN if you are ALIVE and BREATHING take CARE of your CHILD (REN) DARN IT…..please….the children do not understand your absence from their lives….and they shouldn’t have to have their hearts broken at such a YOUNG impressionable age! Digi’s child’s ‘father’ only seems to come around if it is a chance to show the beautiful child off – like the child is a prize possession or trinket or something….totally whack man….get a CLUE. the child is a human being not a THING and not a weapon to use between mom and dad….children have feelings too….you can't just come in and out of their lives as YOU choose to....wake up.

my feeling on this at this time….I think that these ‘fathers’ aka ‘donors’ should be somewhat punished for not taking responsibility for another human beings life that they CREATED (and quite frankly sticking them in jail I don’t even think cuts it, because they still don’t seem to care)….and I know I am not the one in control and really have no say so….but if I could at all make a suggestion to the CREATOR….it would be this….jail doesn’t work….so sock it to them where it COUNTS….let their finances fade (especially if they are not financially supporting their off springs), let their teeth turn YELLOW, let their breath be so atrocious that no mouthwash, toothpaste, gum could ever cure it, let their toned bodies (if they are toned) go flabby, and if they aren't toned - let it get worse, let their pot bellies GROW, let their careers and dreams suffer and dimenish, let their cars break down, let their favorite sports team go on a hiatus, let the remote control for the tv be lost in eternity, let them always tell the truth no matter what the circumstance may be, let their friendships evaporate, and then when all that is said and done....make certain body parts go limp (if you know what I mean) and let the opposite sex not want anything to do with them…..UNTIL they MAN UP and BE a FATHER….better yet….A DADDY….and this includes sporting events, school functions, dance recitals, father and child QUALITY time together, not JUST “financial responsibility”!

if you ask me this would be so much better than jail time...come on

can I get an AMEN??

as for my DADDY – the latter part of this blog in no way affects you- you are my DADDY and you take care and love all of us unselfishly!

as for snhookums ‘father’ – you know the deal....(raised eyebrow)

as for all the non parenting parents out there….you better wake up….because in the end….it is YOUR loss….

(let's face it....raising children is the HARDEST job out there, but it is the most rewarding and it is the ULTIMATE blessing that God trusted you with and gave YOU the privilege of doing.....so don't go screwing it up....God picked YOU as the father for a REASON....)

and to those fathers and daddies out there who cherish their titles and jobs as a father and do everything that there is entailed to being a FATHER aka DADDY (even if you are with or not with the mother, even if your child wasn't planned, even if the mother is the one who pushes you away)....my hat goes off to you and I give you a big round of BRAVOS!!!!!!! ;o)


Be Blessed….Peace Forward…..Peace Out…… \/ …two fingers….

**small disclaimer - these are MY opinions of course**