interviewing

interviewing....

i think i suck at it.

(not always, just now, lately....

in the past few years.)

i can always think of a 100 wittier things to say AFTER it is over....

or a 100 things i could have asked, or a 100 ways to have answered something better....AFTER i have left.

AFTER it is OVER. (ugh)

during interviews....i think i come off shy, soft spoken and not as out going as i actually am or can be. i mean i can be shy though and i do believe that this continues to be my downfall when interviewing. recently anyway, not always. i used to be much more confident and outgoing (and thin and cute and younger hehehehee) i know my ability to not UP PLAY myself is a neg and my shyness is a wet noodle and i know this because my confidence level sucks right now. because I AM a witty person, a fun person, a silly easy to get along with - yet hard worker, intelligent, fast learner, team player HAPPY - person.

i am.....really. {smile}

a mouthful.

again it all goes back to my weight gain issue AGAIN and i am not as social as i once was since i had shnookie doodles. so i feel like i am loosing my social butterfly skills i once had and was known for and wore oh so proudly. [double ugh with a twist of sighs]

slack huh?


i know.


interviewing makes me feel totally ungraceful and clumsy in a natural sentence sort of forming way.


make sense?


yea....whack huh.


plus sitting in a booth at Panera Bread (of all places) with the Interviewers right-right across from me, very very close to me....is kind of an intimate situation.

donchu think?

trust me.

i think.

i mean a booth at restaurant is CLOSE. a booth at a restaurant is a place you gather with family, friends, dates, co-workers even....people you somewhat know - right? a casual gathering, a some what laid back atmosphere.

but a booth during an interview...weird, weirdly CLOSE. and not casual at all.

uncomfortable. REALLY uncomfortable.

strangers.

i don't know these people who are sitting far enough away from me that i could actually reach out and pinch their cheeks...seriously.

and here they are sizing me up...CLOSE UP...

looking at the new zit that popped up on my forehead last night as soon as she called to say, "hey you have an interview tomorrow at 11am."

poof. zit. forehead. ahhhhhhhhhh!

hide me.

and now, here are the interviewers looking at my zit as they tell me what they expect from this person, what they want in this person that they are looking to hire....

i know they are looking at it.

the zit.

how can they not? i am only a mere few "pinch their cheeks and tell them how adorable they are" feet away from them.

[humm...maybe that would have landed it for me, you think?]

okay, maybe not.

ugh.

i did try to cover the zit this morning with my bangs, but my bangs of course wanted to comb towards the opposite side of my forehead, not the side where the zit stood....

yelling and waving at everyone he could,

darn zit.

i am so mad at him]


so there he was, he, the zit....and there they were, they. the interviewers.....

looking.

[hole in the floor? swallow me up please? now?]


not to mention just the whole start of this ordeal.

interviewing at Panera Bread?
(not for Panera Bread mind you, another {wonderful, i might add} company.)

"How will I know who they are? How will they know who I am?"

"They are two white men, one mid 30's, the other mid 40's or so. One has brown hair."

"Oh....well that narrows it down."

right....Panera Bread in one of the shmoozy white collar sides of town at lunch time, busiest time of day for Panera Bread.


sure.....that's easy to figure out.

are you kidding?

so talk about a a great start.

i arrive 10 minutes early.
it is packed [duh!]

i am scanning the large room.

two white males, early 30's & 40's one with brown hair.......uhhhhhh.

yep. lots of THOSE types. [geeesh]

so i am thinking, maybe THEY will see ME looking around the room like i dork. like i
am lost. like i need a home.

yea.....

no.

they did not.

now i did see THEM, but i didn't know it was THEM. they were engaged in a deep conversation (like most everyone in there with laptops, cell phones, business papers) sitting across from one another in "the booth" and they did not seem to be looking or waiting for anyone....nor did anyone else in there for that matter.

so, after scanning several times. i sit down at a little table by the door.

and wait and look. and look and wait. and look....look......wait.

wait.

i feel like a dork.

i look over at the table where i had seen THEM, but didn't know it was THEM. one of THEM gets up, a man in his mid 30's? (i did research their website {verrrry impressive} and there was a picture of the, i am guessing, the 30ish man with brown hair) this man had dark blond hair (at least that is what it looked like to me) he walked in front of me and turned and said, "amy?".

yes!

(finally, whew)

he was very friendly and nice (didn't look at all like his photo on the website)

but this already was feeling awkward....

from the start, yanno.

he walked me over to the table they had been sitting at (all this time) and introduced me to the 2nd gentleman who looked to be in his mid 40's. salt and pepper hair, nice smile.

we shook hands.


booth time.

really nice men, they were very enthusiastic. loved it. loved them. loved the concept of the company. loved the company.

(i know i fall too fast sometimes, hheheheee)

but

will they love me?

that IS the question, right?

they really didn't ask me too many questions, they more explained what they wanted and what the individual hired would be facing if picked. there were a few odd moments of silence (errrrrrrrrr.....)

i can def handle it. the gig. i can dig it.....

just don't know if i portrayed that ENOUGH to them efficiently or not......

i now draw a blank.

but....



my feeling....

ehhh.....

could go wither way.


because i suck at them....

INTERVIEWS.

in a modest self-doubting way of course.

so we will see.....

YAY